Are you ready to hear the most shocking thing about me that you may ever hear?
Okay, here it is: I don’t get alcohol.
Nope. I don’t get it at all. I completely and utterly don’t understand the point. It makes no sense to me. I know that it’s a million dollar industry and everyone and their brother loves to go out drinking from time to time. Apparently alcohol is a social lubricant and people associate it with a good time. Youngsters yearn for the day when they can legally drink and sneak the stuff behind their parents’ backs when they can. Heck, there’s an entire era of American history surrounding the prohibition and underground industry of alcohol. It’s a big thing.
I don’t get it.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve imbibed a time or two myself. I’ll drink wine at important events, or in the evening if I’ve got a bottle of something I actually like (Moscato!), and I am always up for a small shandy after a long, hot cricket match in the summer. But past that? I fail to see the appeal.
Granted, I’m pretty sure that my mystification and head-shaking over alcohol is because of the way it affects me. It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that one of my friends pointed out that they think alcohol has a different effect on me than it does on other people. Here’s how I feel when I drink….
First of all, when I’m in a social situation I like to be present. I get a high off of intellectual discussion, or not-so intellectual discussion. I feel focused and tuned in when I’m talking to people and I swear it gives me an actual rush. Especially intense conversations with one or two people. I’m an idea person.
When I start drinking I get fuzzy fast. It feels like my mind unmoors and starts to drift. I lose the ability to pay attention. I lose the thread of the conversation. It’s almost as if my eyes roll back in my head and happy elevator music plays. And it’s not like I drift away to something like I do when I’m in the throes of a serious daydream. Nope, I just come loose and float off.
I guess some people might want to experience that feeling, but not me. Especially if I’m at a social gathering. I will quite literally end up sitting in a corner staring off into space, possibly drooling. Not exactly social, is it.
Ah, but there is one very brief stage that I hit before I drift completely. That is the stage of saying really stupid things. Yep, first the filter goes, then the stupid things come out. Of course, it’s a little safer when everyone else has been drinking because then they don’t care. But I care. I have a pathological aversion to saying stupid things. Mostly because I do it far too often for my own good.
One of the advantages of not drinking that often and stopping when I get too flakey to refill my glass is that I don’t think I have ever been pissed out of my mind fall down drunk. That is something I truly don’t understand. Why in God’s name would anyone want to deliberately engage in an activity that makes them get testy, violent, and vomit. I was on the receiving end of a friend getting that badly, belligerently drunk on New Year’s Eve 2000. It was the most wretched, embarrassing thing I’ve ever seen.
Ah well. I’m weird, I guess. But I also think my indifference towards alcohol comes from the fact that I live every day with a severely overactive imagination. I once worked for a man who had been a hippie in the hippie heyday and who had tried every drug out there. He told me boldly one day that I didn’t need to do drugs because I could get to places without drugs that most people needed drugs to get to. Hmm. I’ve always found that to be a fascinating comment, worthy of pondering.
So there you have it. Alcohol (and drugs)? *shrugs* It’s all yours. More power to you. Knock yourself out. I won’t stop you.
I will also add, however, that while I also have no interest whatsoever in smoking pot, people who have been smoking are hilarious to hang out with! But that’s a story for another day.