Absolute Boyfriend

Last year I had this idea that I wanted to read some manga.  You know, Japanese comic books.  So of course I asked my resident Japanese comic book expert friend Julie if she could recommend anything.  Julie got a smiley look on her face, and the next day she brought me the first couple of books in a series called Absolute Boyfriend.

Absolute Boyfriend, in a nutshell, is a manga series about a high school age girl who, after clicking around online one day, accidentally orders herself an Absolute Boyfriend.  It’s a sort of supernatural doll sort of thing.  He’s drop-dead gorgeous, arrives at her house naked in a shipping box, and when she activates him by kissing him he imprints on her and falls totally and completely in love with her.  His primary motivation is to make her the happiest girl in the world … and to have sex with her.  Because that’s what he’s programmed to do.

The heroine is freaked the heck out by the whole thing, but does sort of think he’s cute.  She’s just a schoolgirl though and has to figure out how to balance her “relationship” with this Absolute Boyfriend and the cute guy who lives next door.

Ladies, this is an AWESOME idea!  We need to figure out how to develop the technology to make some Absolute Boyfriends.  They’re the gift that keeps on giving.  They’re the perfect accessory to every outfit.  They go great with dinner.  And they do housework and yard work without complaining!  Better still, they WANT to do housework.  Need someone to cook for you?  Absolute Boyfriend is on it.  Need that spider squished?  Absolute Boyfriend is already there with his shoe off.  Want someone to sit on the couch with you and cuddle while you watch a sad chick-flick?  Absolute Boyfriend.

Okay, so yeah, there was some of that drama in the manga series with the snarky girl that tried to steal him away from her.  He did start to malfunction after a while.  And yeah, he cost a million dollars, and when the girl didn’t have a million dollars she did sort of have to sign away her soul to the company that manufactured him.  But that’s all beside the point!

You can design your Absolute Boyfriend to look like whoever you want him to look like.  Me, I’m going with Richard Armitage all the way.  Absolute Boyfriend absorbs information through books, tv, and the internet so fast that he pretty much knows everything all the time.  You could have an intelligent conversation with him about anything and he wouldn’t turn it into a conversation about sports or video games.  Unless you wanted him to.

Best of all, Absolute Boyfriend is designed to be completely fabulous in bed.  That’s at least half of his purpose.  He is custom-programed to curl your toes and align your chakras.  He will sent you to heights of pleasure that mere mortals can barely dream of.  And, well, yes, the young heroine in the book was a bit exhausted with trying to evade his ever-ready amorous embraces.  She was just a teen-ager, after all.  And I suppose even the most stalwart adult woman needs to sleep now and then.  But when sleep is the last thing on your mind … Absolute Boyfriend.

So yeah, I think Japan has the right idea.  Oh!  And I’m sure as a romance novelist I would find one super useful for *cough* research purposes!  And at only a million dollars I’m sure it’s a steal!  Sign me up for an Absolute Boyfriend.

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9 thoughts on “Absolute Boyfriend

  1. Ah, the definition of hell. Everything you’ve always wanted, all at once. Some things are too good to be true. Instant amorous embraces? Yes, that could make for some sticky situations and some excellent comedy!

  2. Hmm… I don’t know if I love or hate the idea of an absolute boyfriend. It could be wonderful or a nightmare… guess I’ll stick with the old fashioned kind until the bugs are worked out 🙂

    • I think I remember from the series that he didn’t eat at all, he sort of came with an off switch but not really, and he was a fantastic cleaner and a great cook! 😉

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