Inappropriate Crush

I am the master of the Inappropriate Crush.  What makes a crush inappropriate, you ask?  Crushing on someone who is completely unavailable, of course.  And being consumed with embarrassment at the thought of revealing to anyone that you have a crush on that person.  So yes, I am the master of the Inappropriate Crush.

Actually, the vast majority of my love life has consisted of inappropriate crushes.  I don’t have a lot of luck with men at all.  This might be one of the reasons why.  I was never interested in bad-boys, I didn’t really care about the cute popular boys.  No, my crushes as far back as I can remember have been much more … creative than that.

Quick! Someone warn this child she's doomed to a life of Inappropriate Crushes!

I was the girl who had the crushes on teachers in high school.  Yes, I had a massive crush on Rev. Smith.  And it doesn’t get more inappropriate than that.  Rev. Smith was from South Africa.  He had a beautiful accent and a viciously dry sense of humor.  He wasn’t necessarily well-liked by the other kids, mostly because they didn’t get his oddball, quirky humor.  He was old enough to be my father.  In fact, two of his kids (twins) were in my class.  Yes, I had a crush on the father of two of my classmates, a strange man with an accent.  He was married, but that kind of fell apart spectacularly when we were still in school and it’s not my place to talk about it.  But yes, I loved him.  And it was so, so wrong.

I didn’t grow out of the inappropriate crush phase as I got older either.  The trend has pretty much continued in one way or another until the present.  I was the girl who had crushes on professors at school, including ones who were Catholic priests.  And while yes, a lot of this could probably be attributed to daddy issues of some sort, it hasn’t just been about older men.

In my mid-20s I had the worst kind of Inappropriate Crush, the kind that is best classified as Unrequited Love.  Dan was younger than me by a few years.  He was in my brother’s class in school I think, but they weren’t especially close friends.  I thought the sun rose and set around Dan.  And so, unfortunately, I started to act like it did.  Yes, I followed him around like a little puppy, which was so not what I should have been doing at that age.  I baked him cookies and made him a cake.  I sewed a button or two back on his dress shirts.  I walked around more or less as his yes-man side-kick for months.  Then he transferred to a different college.  He told me that he knew I would write to him no matter what, even if he didn’t write back.

That was when it hit me.  Dan was a douche who had been using me the whole time.

Well, that kind of put a damper on my crushes for a long, long time.  It’s an awful thing to wake up and realize a guy you put your heart on your sleeve for has been playing you.  I think it’s called being a girl in your 20s.

Fortunately I recovered, somewhat sadder and wiser.  Sort of.

If you’ve been reading my Unlikely Hero of the Week posts on Thursdays then you know I’ve developed a unique taste in men.  I did him a long time ago, but Michael Emerson is still my favorite Unlikely Hero ever!  I love him so much.  And when in doubt I can always have a crush on Richard Armitage.  He’s dreamy.  But up there with them these days is another fantastically Inappropriate Crush, Chris Colfer.  Because nothing says inappropriate like having the warm fuzzies for a very gay man.  I just like him so much!  And didn’t Kinsey say something about none of us ever being completely one way or the other?

Speaking of which, I have a bit of an Inappropriate Crush on Emma Watson.  I’d switch teams to date her.  Or maybe I just want to be her.  I’m not entirely clear on that one.

And if you’ve noticed, I’ve been evading a bit here.  Because the question still remains….  Do I currently have any inappropriate crushes?

*bows head in shame*

Yes, yes I do.  But before I confess, I need to back up by about a year and a half and talk about my cricket team.

When I first got involved with cricket in the Philadelphia area, before I knew the guys as well as I do now, yes.  Yes I did have a few crushes amongst them.  I’ve had a crush on three of the guys in that picture above.  But I quickly learned not to crush on my cricket guys at all because South Asian men don’t wear wedding rings when they’re playing cricket.  And just about all of them are married.  My most embarrassing cricket crush moment was finding out that he was married with six kids.  I am so glad I never said anything!

But back to the present.  Yes, I have not one but TWO Inappropriate Crushes in real life these days.  These are my work crushes.  Everyone needs work crushes as far as I’m concerned. …  Um, as long as you recognize that they’re crushes, that is.  Both my Day Job work crush and my Part-Time Job work crush are a little on the nerdy side, not traditionally attractive, both hard workers, both with quirky senses of humor. … Both have very serious girlfriends.  *SIGH*

In fact, looking back on things, high school, college, cricket, work crushes, I have a thing for unavailable guys.  The ultimate Inappropriate Crush!  I would say that I’m attracted to the wrong type, but the thing is, I think I’m attracted to exactly the RIGHT type.  It’s just that my type tends to get into serious, loving, committed relationships BEFORE they meet me. By the time they get to be my age those kinds of guys are usually married and busy being good fathers and husbands.

Michael Emerson - Married

 So what’s a girl to do?  Well, I can always write about the guys I want to be with.  I fall in love with my characters on a regular basis.  That’s something.  Aside from that … maybe I missed my calling as a rich man’s mistress?  Nah!  The kind of guy I love would never have something on the side.  I guess I’m just doomed until my romance novel/romantic comedy plot comes along to surprise me.

How ‘bout you?  Who are your crushes, appropriate or inappropriate, real or imaginary?

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16 thoughts on “Inappropriate Crush

  1. If you’re the queen of inappropriate crushes, I’m at least a princess. It’s ridiculous and I know I’m being stupid most of the time. But berating myself does little to cure the infatuation. At least I have one inappropriate crush that has served me well over the years and I know he’ll never leave me: Boba Fett. He’s been the object of my adoration since I first saw him in Empire Strikes Back, and he’s held the number 1 Inappropriate Crush spot since then. He’ll also never have the opportunity to break my heart, so I think that makes him the perfect inappropriate crush. 😛

  2. You need some help, Girlfriend! LOL. I’ve had my share of those OMG! Not him! moments in life, but luckily I think I’ve out grown it. At least I hope so.

  3. I’ve had so many, can’t even remember some of their names…but I am in my 60’s now! Most of mine were gay..talk about unavailable! Others were married or badly damaged by other women! I have finally found a loving man, took me awhile, but it did finally happen, don’t give up. Tis better to have loved inappropriately than never to have loved at all!

  4. Technically all of my crushes are inappropriate since I’m happily married, but this has been going on my whole life. My first inappropriate crush happened at age 6 when I fell in love with Paul McCartney. Now you need to realize that this was in the 80’s when The Beatles weren’t even played on the radio. My next big inappropriate crush was David Bowie from Labyrinth. I still have an inappropriate crush on him and his skinny legs in tight pants. LOL Another one was in junior high when I had such a crush on my geology teacher (happily married and a little pudgy, but oh so soft spoken and sweet). The next year it was my biology teacher. I also can’t forget Carey Grant. I’ve told my husband Carey were to magically come back to life at his Bringing Up Baby stage, my husband would have some serious competition. 😉 There are countless others from professors to characters to Patrick Stewart (who is much older than my father and gay as well), but I’ll stop there. I think life without inappropriate crushes would be dull and unhealthy.

    • Don’t get me started on David Bowe’s pants in Labyrinth! That movie came out just as I was starting to get “those kinds of feelings”. I was so disturbed. I don’t know if I’ll ever recover.

      And I didn’t think Patrick Stewart was gay. Bi maybe? Didn’t he, like cheat on his wife with one of the producers of Star Trek TNG and then marry her later?

      • Hmmm, maybe I heard wrong. This is always a possibility. LOL No matter what though, I’ve had a crush on him since Star Trek TNG. I can’t help it! Maybe it’s his bald head?

    • I am so relieved to know that there are hot guys out there who like older women! It gives me hope. =P I loved him in The English Patient long before I saw him in Lost. And Bride and Prejudice. That was him, right?

  5. Pingback: Friday Favorites – Crushes, Buffy, and Book Fandom « Shannyn Schroeder's Blog

  6. I have crushes on TV characters that I would never like in real life, mostly because they are cops. In real life I would never actually want to be with a guy who had to risk his life for a living and I can’t be around guns. Really, I’m scared of big kitchen knives, so a gun is way too much. I also agree that work crushes are important. My current one is way older and always wears high-waters. But, he is super smart and in a place filled with mostly women, he sticks out as attractive. I just don’t look down. Fun post!

  7. I’ve had a few of those through the years. Unfortunately they keep getting older, too old actually. *sigh* They are usually movie and television stars. People that don’t even know I exist. Although, there was this one time I totally had the hots for a married man. My boss warned me he was married, but I couldn’t believe anyone married would flirt with me that way. *WRONG**

  8. i have an inappropriate crush on this guy who works at the local supermarket. I go there every day. When i am lining up in the queue , i keep looking at him , and BAM, i fell for him. He is nice to me as well. I become crazy about him. I want to wait for him until he finishes his shift but it is really late like midnight. This is crazy. I wrote a piece of paper and gave it to him saying i like him. I know it is stupid but there was no way i can talk to him. The whole place is crowded. Now when i go there i feel like he ignores me. I don’t know if he has a girlfriend or married. I am going crazy. I don’t know what to do next.

  9. I totally understand this… I have always had an uncontrollable attraction to older men (teachers, doctors, actors, anyone not age appropriate). I had this problem especially in my late teens… I didn’t start really dating until I was a freshmen in college! And even then I only dated older! (Like at least 10 yrs)

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